Eid al-Fitr Traditions: “Apologizing, What’s the Need?”
By: Ali Aminulloh
As Eid approaches, WhatsApp notifications buzz nonstop. One by one, messages come in: greetings, prayers, and apologies that sometimes seem similar, but actually hold deeper meaning. Behind the simple phrase “apologize physically and mentally,” there’s a silent struggle: subduing the ego, humbling the heart, and opening the door to sincerity.
Apologizing is no easy matter. It’s not just words, but courage. In many psychological studies, as explained by Carl Rogers, emotional honesty and self-disclosure are processes that require humility and acceptance of one’s shortcomings. Therefore, apologizing is often more difficult than forgiving. It requires us to acknowledge the hurt we’ve caused, something that isn’t always easy for a soul still filled with pride.
The tradition of shaking hands during Eid al-Fitr is not merely symbolic. A wise saying states: “Tashāfahū fa innahu yudzhibu al-ghilla min qulūbikum.” (Shake hands, for it will remove the burdens in your heart.)
Linguistically, the word tashāfahū comes from the root word ṣafḥ, which means “clean slate” or “open space.” Therefore, shaking hands is not merely touching skin, but like turning over a new leaf: cleansing the heart of lingering wounds, prejudices, and hidden grudges. This touch brings a warm energy, unites souls, and often dissolves unspoken grievances.
From an Islamic perspective, forgiveness is not merely a noble virtue, but an indicator of piety. Allah emphasizes the purpose of fasting in Al-Baqarah 183: for humans to attain piety.
Furthermore, in Al-Imran 133-134, the characteristics of a pious person are explained:
“…those who restrain their anger and pardon others…”
This is where the meaning of Eid al-Fitr reaches its peak. It is not merely a victory in enduring hunger, but a victory in subduing anger and ego.
From a psychological perspective, Everett Worthington explains that forgiveness can reduce stress, anxiety, and even Improve physical health. Forgiveness doesn’t mean defeat, but rather frees oneself from the burden of negative emotions.
Meanwhile, in sociology, Emile Durkheim observed that communal rituals, such as forgiveness during Eid, have the power to build social solidarity. They restore broken relationships, strengthen cohesion, and create a sense of “we” within society.
Therefore, Eid al-Fitr is not only a personal celebration, but also a time of social reconciliation. A moment where individuals once separated by ego are reunited through forgiveness.
The world today is thirsting for that energy. Amidst persistent conflict, polarization, and conflict, the spirit of Eid al-Fitr conveys a simple yet revolutionary message: dare to apologize, and even more importantly, dare to forgive.
Perhaps, if the spirit of “tashāfahū” is truly alive, not only will hearts be at peace, but the world will slowly heal.
Because ultimately, forgiveness is not just a word, but it is a path home for the soul.
“Happy Eid al-Fitr 1447 H – Please forgive me, born “Inner”
Indonesia, March 21, 2026
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